Everything I Have Learned as a Leader

A while ago, I read a book by Nicolai Tangen, the CEO of the Norwegian Oil Fund. I took away several lessons from it, and these are the ones that have stayed with me the most.

You Learn the Most When Things Are Hard

Magnus Carlsen and others who succeed do not get there because of talent alone. They get there because they learn from their mistakes and never stop developing. With a growth mindset, you see setbacks as opportunities, not as defeats.

Empathetic Clarity

Empathetic clarity means combining understanding with honesty. You show empathy by listening and by trying to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. At the same time, you are clear about expectations, boundaries, and responsibility. This kind of leader creates room for learning and respect without avoiding difficult conversations. It means being warm and truthful at the same time. You care about people, and you still hold them accountable.

Perfectionism: Be the Best Only When It Matters

Perfectionism is the belief that you have to be flawless. More often than not, it does more harm than good. It leads to stress, a need for control, and a fear of failure. That holds back both creativity and learning. Perfectionists often work hard, but not always wisely. They spend too much time on details that do not matter and lose the ability to prioritize. Research shows that perfectionism does not lead to better results. It mainly increases the risk of burnout and stagnation. Instead of trying to be perfect, we should, as the author puts it, be “the best only when it matters.” We should focus on progress, not flawlessness.

Generosity

Generosity is about thinking of others first. And it pays off. The psychologist Adam Grant has shown that leaders who give more than they take build stronger teams, deeper trust, and better results than selfish “takers.” Givers create cultures marked by collaboration, well-being, and innovation, like those found at companies such as Pixar and General Motors. When Grant talks about leaders who give more than they take, he means leaders who put other people’s needs and shared goals ahead of their own personal gain. They share knowledge, time, and recognition without expecting something in return. They measure success by what the team achieves, not by how much credit they receive. This kind of leader asks, “How can I help you succeed?” instead of “What can I get out of this?” Grant shows that these giver-leaders create environments with high trust, strong team spirit, and more innovation, precisely because the people around them feel seen, supported, and valued. They lift others up. And in the long run, that lifts them up as well. But they also have to be careful not to give themselves away completely. True generosity requires boundaries and the ability to prioritize. Simone Weil believed that generosity is really about giving someone your full attention. I could not agree more.

Thinking Well

Good thinking requires time, calm, and concentration. Bill Gates understood the importance of the internet early because he stepped away from the noise and gave himself time to think deeply. That is a skill many leaders lose in a world filled with notifications, meetings, and constant interruptions. Researchers such as Cal Newport and Adam Grant show that real creativity and wise decisions often come when we protect our attention, work with focus, and take breaks, both short and long. Going for walks, putting away the phone, and taking regular pauses give the brain time to process ideas and connect them in new ways. If you want to think well, you have to dare to stop.

The Best Leaders Are Human

The best leaders are not perfect. They are human. Just as the architect Thomas Heatherwick criticizes boring buildings without soul, many leaders hide their personality behind a professional mask. When leaders dare to show real emotion, vulnerability, and humor, they create closeness, trust, and engagement. Openness makes leaders more approachable and more inspiring. Being a little “silly” — honest, imperfect, and human — makes both leadership and the workplace better.

Life Experience

Youth is admired, but life experience lasts longer than talent. Research shows that many of the most successful founders are in their mid-forties. Older brains are often better at seeing patterns, understanding people, and making wise decisions. Experience gives you deeper empathy, better judgment, and the ability to see the bigger picture. These are essential qualities in leadership. Instead of chasing early success, young people should build competence and be patient. A career is long, and wisdom takes time. Drive may start your career, but experience completes it.

Use Visibility Wisely

When you become a leader, and especially when you become visible, everything you do matters more. People look to you as an example. Small actions reveal who you really are. A good leader uses that visibility wisely. She follows the rules herself, shows respect, praises others, and takes responsibility for the power she has. As the CEO of Geberit once said: “You do not need to talk about culture. People see it.” Leadership is not only about what you say. It is about how you live it, every day.

Working from Home

Working from home gives people flexibility, but too much of it can weaken the sense of community. After the pandemic, more than 40 percent of Norwegians regularly worked from home. But many companies, including BlackRock, found that productivity dropped and culture became weaker. Collaboration, learning, and creativity often work best when people meet in person. The best ideas are often born by the coffee machine, not in Teams. That is why the Norwegian Oil Fund reduced its policy from two days at home to one day a week, to strengthen team spirit and well-being. Technology allows us to work from anywhere. But people create value together.

Psychological Safety

Mistakes can be expensive. The Norwegian Oil Fund once lost 900 million kroner. But the fear of making mistakes can cost even more. In knowledge-based companies, psychological safety is essential. People must dare to try, fail, and share what they have learned without fear of punishment. As Amy Edmondson has shown, the teams that are willing to report mistakes are often the ones that learn the most and develop the fastest. Good leaders distinguish between unhelpful mistakes, such as carelessness, and useful mistakes, such as experimentation and learning. They make sure mistakes are used for improvement, not for shame. A safe culture, where people dare to look foolish from time to time, is one of the best guarantees of success.

Do Not Micromanage

The less a boss controls, the more the people around her grow. Carol Tomé turned UPS around by removing detailed rules and moving decisions down in the organization, closer to the customers. Research shows that monitoring and micromanagement make employees less productive and less motivated, while trust and freedom lead to better results. As Elon Musk has said: “I don’t lead them. They lead themselves.” A good leader points out the direction, gives people room, and trusts them to find the way.